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New medications on the market.


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Be sure to check with your doc before trying them!

 

<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> D A M N I T O L - Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

 

ST. M O M M A'S W O R T - Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

 

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N - Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

 

P E P T O B I M B O - Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

 

D U M B E R O L - When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in the enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

 

F L I P I T O R - Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

 

M E N I C I L L I N - Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person .Can we get naked now?

 

BUYAGRA - Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping . Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

 

J A C K A S S P I R I N- Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

 

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T - A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

 

N A G A M E N T - When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.

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