my life is in a downward spiral

[JJ1o87]

We should all be so lucky as to have a friend like you Jeff :D:D:D

 

What can I say Bill, I'm just a great friend.

[Superdutytd]

Wait who's dating who now?

[DieselDude]

That is good that things are going much better for you now.

[Adam]

Hey John, I've just now read this post. Been busy at shows, and missed it last month, I apologize for not chiming in when you were hurting brother!

 

It's funny, as like Rob (OIFVET,) I dated my wife for three years, then she got sick of me being a drunk, and traveling all the time. My reply, "Fine, I'll find another girl who accepts me for the drunken absentee I am!"

 

Well, she dumped me, and I went drinking, and stayed doused in booze for three months. One morning, after getting a DUI, I realized something: I needed to make a life change, immediately, and was in danger of losing the most amazing woman I had ever loved.

 

After sobering up for a few days, I took a hike with a friend in San Luis Obisbo. At the top of the trail, I had a chance to think with a clear mind. (Exercise will do that to you.)

 

I realized a few things, one, that I was crazy to let Melissa go. Two, I needed to grow up, and quit being such a selfish a**hole.

 

Well, three months later, I packed up my place, and drove to Colorado to 'win-back' my girlfriend. She was like, "you are nuts, but wow, you are here." Well, after 6 months, we were engaged. Three months later, she was pregnant. I was blown away, but did what I had to, and we planned the wedding.

 

Man, trust me, I was scared, really freaked out. Still, there was a clear path, and the path was: Get married, and get ready to be a Dad! We bought her a used SUV, a nice one that I don't mind driving. I sold off about 100 old Schwinns, which were occupying every spare room in our house. (I loved them, but they were occupying the baby room, storage room, etc.)

 

Well, now, in hindsight, that was the easiest decision of my life, as having a child changes everything. EVERYTHING. The child will re-align your priorities for you, so don't even worry about it. The stuff you do in your spare time will suddenly not be as fun as laying on the living room floor with your baby, watching him/ her stare at you, make sounds, climb up on things, laugh, and smile.

 

Nothing is more important than your family. While that might be tough to understand now, once the baby comes, it will be much clearer.

 

John, I delivered our baby, I brought her into the world, and what an honor that was! Now, I'm lucky to spend hours each day (unless I'm at a car show) with Luca, who is now 15 months old.

 

Talking about stress:

 

While we are starting the move from Los Angeles to Colorado, it feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I'm stressed, frankly, as this is a big move, expensive beyond my estimations by double.

 

At the same time, Melissa is now attending the University of Colorado, which costs a bunch of $$, and we now need to pay a babysitter a few days each week while Melissa is in class. That added $2,500/ month to our expenses, and we feel every nickel!

 

While that stress is real, when I come home to my family, hang out with Luca, sit on the couch and watch her put colored pieces of plastic into the correct shaped holes, I realize: LIFE IS GOOD!

 

Your motorcycle? Who cares! You can buy another one later, maybe one that's better than your current moto. Viper? Is it putting stress on you financially, or would the $$ raised by selling it solve some problems, pay off debt or for a wedding, etc?

 

Stuff, my friend, is just that, stuff. You can buy more stuff any time. Today, I find myself eliminating stuff. If I haven't used it in the last 12 months, it's either sold, or, ready to be given away, etc.

 

Just today, I put one of the nicest bikes in my collection on Ebay: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=290358363478

 

I promise you John, once you become a Dad, your priorities will change, big time. You will want to spend every second possible watching your baby sleep, eat, laugh, play, etc.

 

Words cannot describe how great it was tonight when Melissa was taking Luca up the stairs tonight, to go to sleep. As she was walking up, I said, "Good night angel, I love you!" She smiled at me, and blew kisses to me. Priceless.

 

So, I'm going on and on here, but my input here: You are going to have to change some of your priorities now. Things are changing, and while you used to be in charge of what you wanted to do 100%, now, there is a new person that's on the way. If you want to have a happy life, trust me, do what it takes to have a happy partner! (Happy Wife, Happy Life.)

 

What happens next needs to be taking your child's best interests, and that will be the reality for the next 10-20 years. You can reject that theory, ignore it, be angry about it, but eventually, you will want to be the best Dad you can, and that role is the single most important role you will have ever had. Ever.

 

Another thing to consider: You are both young, and that's awesome! Realize, you will be able to enjoy your young adulthood with a child leaving for college when you are only 40. That's fantastic. I'm going to be 38 in a week, and when I'm 40, I'll have a 3 year old.

 

You'll be playing with shiny toys o' plenty not long from now, and nicer toys than you are playing with now. Trust me John, the older you get, and especially with the education you are seeking, the $$ you make will only increase.

 

So, you sell your Viper and moto now, have a baby, drive a SRT-8 Cherokee, or pick up a used Supercharged Range Rover Sport for cheap. Once you finish college, get a snappy high paying job, you'll be rolling better than ever.

 

Snag yourself a Ferrari 430 Scuderia, or whatever ticks your tocker.

 

John, you are in a good spot brother. Look at yourself in the mirror, and look at yourself in the eyes. Get real. Get ready, fatherhood is fantastic! It's even better if you have a good relationship with your woman/ girlfriend/ wife.

 

Also, your wife won't be sick for long, as morning sickness typically lasts less than 4 months.

 

Sorry to go on and on about this, but a positive attitude is a contagious thing, and I've got a big old smile on my face, regardless of what crap is trying to snag my smile.

 

Life is short John, the people on this forum will agree. Especially the more 'senior' members. Don't do things today that will make you look back, and say, "I was a punk, and wish I would have. . . . . . ."

 

Walk straight, do the right thing, for you, for your girlfriend, but mostly, for your baby!

 

I look forward to reading about your progress, or, call me on the cell to talk if you are feeling down in the dumps: 303-718-9480.

 

Go John! By the way, here is a photo of Luca the day we came home from the hospital, June 29, 2008. It only gets better, and better, and . . . . . . . . . . .

 

-Adam:thumbsup:

[Junkman2008]

Awwww.... that's one proud daddy.

[11chevz71]

Great write up adam