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Favorite Sayings - serious or silly


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Everyone has those "go to" lines for certain situations, funny or serious, its always nice to hear the general philosophies by which people conduct their lives.

 

Heres a couple of my favorites:

 

"When life gives you lemons say 'f--- the lemons' and go surfing" (Delivered by Paul Rudd in Forgetting Sara Marshall)

 

"Its all fun and games until someone loses an eye... then its just fun you can't see"

 

"If you have hope you have everything" - oddly enough this line came from a fortune cookie shortly after Tanner was diagnosed with Autism and that little slip of paper has been on my fridge ever since.

 

Lets here some of your guys "words to live by" :thumbsup:

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"The grass is always greener where the dog's are sh--ting" - SoundGarden (they're back together you know) :rockon:

 

"Life is but a burning blade of grass....before you know it, Earth will be your past." - Barren Cross (80's Christian metal band)

 

Both quotes are enlightening, seem to hold true and oddly enough, both involve grass. Go figure.

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I have enjoyed this quote for a long time, but now I have an 18 year old, I enjoy it even more:

 

“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he'd learned in seven years.”

Mark Twain

 

While I was searching for the exact wording of that quote I came across this one:

 

“By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.”

Charles Wadsworth

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Don't let your mind wander too far.

it is too little to go out alone.

 

Be glade you are unknown, for when you are known, you will wish you weren't.

 

Fall seven times, get up eight.

 

Give somebody an inch and they will think they're a ruler.

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I have enjoyed this quote for a long time, but now I have an 18 year old, I enjoy it even more:

 

“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he'd learned in seven years.”

Mark Twain

 

While I was searching for the exact wording of that quote I came across this one:

 

“By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.”

Charles Wadsworth

 

LOL! Aint that the truth! I think I was 19 when I finally realized just how hard my dad worked, why he put in all those hours and what it actually takes to raise a family. Since then, I've tried to live up to that standard. I've gained mucho respect for my pops over the years. We went from being strangers to best friends and we still hang out quite a bit. Of course now-a-day's he's just ornery.

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Some of the best silly sayings came from a true comedic legend...Groucho Marx. I am often surprised that some people have never even heard of the Marx Bros. If you've never seen them, they're a hoot. Here's some Groucho quotes for you:

 

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

 

Why, a four year old child could understand this report."

Run out and get me a four year old child. I can't make head nor tail of it.

 

I would never join a club that would have me as a member

 

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

 

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution.

 

The secret of success in showbusiness is honesty and sincerity.

Once you learn how to fake that, you've got it made.

 

Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here.

 

A man is as old as the women he feels.

 

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

 

My brother thinks he's a chicken - we don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs.

 

Here's to our wives and girlfriends... May they never meet.

 

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!

 

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

 

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

 

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

 

I have nothing but confidence in you. And very little of that.

 

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog,

it's too dark to read.

 

I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

 

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

 

I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

 

You're heading for a breakdown. Why don't you pull yourself to pieces?

 

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

 

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

 

As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case of divorce and so will my wife.

 

Do you think I could buy back my introduction to you?

 

Room Service? Send up a larger room.

 

Time wounds all heels.

 

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

 

Quote me as saying I was misquoted.

 

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

 

You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I'll bet he was glad to get rid of it.

 

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

 

There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of your fellow man.

 

I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.

 

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

 

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

 

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know.

 

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honour; which is probably more than she ever did.

 

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.

 

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

 

Women should be obscene and not heard.

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"You can't change physics, but you can always add horsepower to compensate."

 

"this town is a beautiful place to be born. It just wraps it's arms around you, no body crowds you and no body goes it alone." ---Bruce Springsteen talking about America in his song "Long Walk Home"

 

 

A funny quote from a few years ago from my Dad while we were planting corn. My uncle who has been known to be a tad on the lazy side says to my Dad after we'd already been working a good 14 hours "you aren't going to plant that field tonight are you?" My Dad says "well it sure the hell aint gonna plant itself."

 

You'd probably have to know my Dad who is usually quiet and just ignores my uncle to think that's really funny but I held my laughter until my Dad climbed on the tractor then I went to the truck and busted out laughing.

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"People think that a liar gains a victory over his victim. What I've learned is that a lie is an act of self-abdication, because one surrenders one's reality to the person to whom one lies, making that person one's master, condemning oneself from then on to faking the sort of reality that person's view requires to be faked. And if one gains the immediate purpose of the lie - the price one pays is the destruction of what the gain was intended to serve. The man who lies to the world is the world's slave from then on." - Hank Rearden in Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand - This is the main quote I've remembered through out the years since I read it.

 

"Knowing there are not limits is a good way to get yourself killed." - Unknown

 

"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are ****sure and the intelligent are full of doubt." - Bertrand Russel

 

"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do" - Walter Bagehot

 

"The point of the journey is not to arrive" - Pert

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Here's a funny one from my kid. He was maybe about 5 years old and came in from the other room with his hands in his pockets and a look of bewilderment and discovery on his face. Out of his mouth came this gem:

 

"Huh....Pockets...some pants have them...some pants don't."

 

It was so random and unexpected. I nearly peed myself laughing.

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I am in somewhat of a self improvement phase of my life. I have read some self help books and seminars and have gotten these gems.

 

The dictionary is the only place success comes before work.

 

If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten.

 

To apply the same inputs and expect a different output is the beginning of insanity.

 

Discipline is doing what is necessary and hard rather than what is fun and easy and doing it when it is necessary, whether you feel like it or not.

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Well lets see there is the old chinese proverb " man who farts in church sits in own pew".,

one of my coworkers one day the captain walks in and says " hard work pays off in the long run" his reply was " yeah but laziness pays off right now" as he puts his feet up to watch tv lol.

Oh yeah another great one Max are you thinking what im thinking? No Chief im thinking what Im thinking. ill have to think of some more.

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