Marylander Posted March 19, 2010 Share Posted March 19, 2010 I'm sure you've seen these before, but they always make me laugh. Supposedly they're real items from aircraft logs where pilots report problems and service techs note the action taken. (P = the problem logged by the pilot.) (S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.) P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in ****pit. S: Something tightened in ****pit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in ****pit. S: Cat installed. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ryan Posted March 19, 2010 Share Posted March 19, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiterp199 Posted March 19, 2010 Share Posted March 19, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris@Adams Posted March 19, 2010 Share Posted March 19, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doggman Posted March 19, 2010 Share Posted March 19, 2010 Read these to my wife. She was rothflhao. Did I mention she had a colonoscopy (sp?) today and may be still under the influence?? Regardless, these were funny!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11chevz71 Posted March 19, 2010 Share Posted March 19, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
70'sChevyGirl Posted March 19, 2010 Share Posted March 19, 2010 :lolsmack: I will never show that to my husband that doesn't like flying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chewy Posted March 19, 2010 Share Posted March 19, 2010 I'd read them before but they're just as funny this time around... Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiterp199 Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 :lolsmack: I will never show that to my husband that doesn't like flying. Do you have another husband that does like flying? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GXPaycheck Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 I love those (being a pilot, FE, and Mechanic!) Add this one: P) Autoland causes acft to land too hard. M) Autoland not installed on this acft. I have found over the years that removal of the Left Hand Manual Yoke Actuator will fix most problems Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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