Team Adam's Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 Got this in an email, thought I'd share. 1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer 4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough. 6. You only need two tools in life - wd-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the wd-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. 7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem. I'll close with a little thought: Some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chewy Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 NICE!! I think three tools are needed though. Vice-Grips! Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris@Adams Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 :lolsmack: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
70'sChevyGirl Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 #2!!! :help: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marylander Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 Corollary to #7: If you can’t fix it with a hammer, it is not worth fixing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nordgrey Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 I've been using a variant of your closing thought on junior officers for years now Dylan. Helps to keep them in line and from getting big heads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nordgrey Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 And no, I never actually did! LOL But when you are a wet behind the ears 22 year old Acting Sub-Lieutenant and the cranky old PO says that to you, it does give pause. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
svrds10 Posted August 4, 2010 Share Posted August 4, 2010 5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough. This one almost made me spit a mouth full of water on my monitor, I released a little but it only landed on the keyboard... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dipolley Posted August 6, 2010 Share Posted August 6, 2010 :lol:....electrical problem.........:lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightMare Silverado Posted August 6, 2010 Share Posted August 6, 2010 I thought it was to get a bigger hammer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doug123 Posted August 6, 2010 Share Posted August 6, 2010 "I'm always glad to see people - some when they arrive, some when they depart". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coolth Posted August 6, 2010 Share Posted August 6, 2010 I do like #4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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