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Oil change fail

JJ1o87

By JJ1o87
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JJ1o87

JJ1o87

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I wish I were a fly on the wall for this one:

 

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6spdg37s

6spdg37s

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Yes, Please elaborate.

 

theres 2 stories...one is stuck oil filter on my bike...i learned a trick about hammering a screwdriver in the filter and turning wit leverage... jeff suggested i do it another way...= FAIL

 

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6736_530519223532_47101884_31675185.jpg

 

I think jeff may be writing his story up now

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JJ1o87

JJ1o87

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Oh lord. Well, 'twas a fateful night back in October '09. The Challenger was due for a blood transplant (oil change) and I had placed an order through JEGS for Royal Purple motor oil. I was quite excited because I had never changed my oil before. Now, nothing ever goes right for me, I AM Murphy's Law - so in the back of my head I know something is bound to go wrong. But nevertheless, I decided to carry on with my venture of personal knowledge and growth.

 

So I put the car on jack stands and proceed to go under the car and remove the skid plate that protects the bottom of the engine. Aside from getting a face full of pebbles - that went off without a hitch. Now what I forgot to mention was that my parents were out at a Broadway show that evening - and I wasn't sure as to how my father would react to doing my own oil. He's one of those people that did exactly what I did to cars and such when he was my age, but doesn't want me doing it - idk doesn't make any sense to me either. But I digress. So I've got about 2 hours before they are to be home.

 

So I get the cover off, and I see the oil pan nut along with the filter and such. I get my handy oil collector thing and position it under the oil pan. I think to myself, wow I'm proud of myself. I pull up on the valve in the middle of the oil collector and unscrew the oil pan nut. The oil is coming out - GREAT SUCCESS (Borat Voice). I'm watching the black stream with pride when all of a sudden I notice a problem. You see, the oil doesn't appear to be going into the collector as quickly as it was when it started. I'm watching the oil level rise slowly to the point where it becomes about 3/4's of the way to overflowing. My heart is racing - I'm starting to panic. Never did it occur to me that the pressure of the oil stream landing directly on the valve closed the value. Disaster is imminent - and I haven't time to call FEMA. I grab rolls of paper towels and witness a homemade volcano of used Mobil 1 0w-40 Synthetic oil flood my garage floor. HOLY S*** - I exclaim!

 

At this point I'm flipping out because the oil is still coming out've the car and I'm rushing to stop the flow from spreading any further. Finally, I realize - DUH pull the valve back up. I stick my hand in the oil, and save myself from any more hardship. There's got to be about 2-3 quarts of oil on my garage floor. Fortunately, I had cardboard down, but that didn't really help much. I'm sopping up all of this oil as quickly as I can with paper towels. About 45 minutes, 6 rolls of paper towels, and a full black garbage bag later - the mess is gone. I cleaned the floor with Simple Green to get what ever remaining oil is left on the floor. Let me tell you, I wanted to invest in Simple Green after this incident - it saved my life and made the floor cleaner than it ever was. I removed the oil filter without incident and all was well with the world. Or so it seemed. I only had about 1 hour left before the parents come home - I thought to myself, "You've pulled it off again Jeff, way to go!".

 

This wasn't the only bullet I would have to dodge tonight, however. I took the oil collector away and put the oil pan nut back on, along with a new filter. I line up my 7 quarts of fresh Royal Purple oil in front of the elliptical machine that is situated about 3 feet in front of my car. I open the first bottle of oil and leave it on the floor because I went to make sure the oil pan nut was tight. I get under the car and I hear a thump. I was laying under the car wondering what that noise was. I look in front of me and see a pool of purple coming at me. "You've got to me kidding me!" I screamed (I took out the profanity). I don't know how this happened because I wasn't anywhere near the quart when it fell over - I'm convinced a dead relative came back to screw with me by tipping it over. I lost about a half of a quart of precious Royal Purple goodness.

 

I break out more paper towels and get rid of the second casualty of the night. I fill up the car with oil, turn on the engine and everything is fine. I take the car off the jack stands and put the big black garbage bag full of oil soaked paper towels in the garbage can for hiding. Just as I walk out of my garage and in to the house my parents walk in. I pull it off! But wait, it gets better. I come back down into the garage because I left my iced tea down there. Much to my dismay, from a distance it looked like my elliptical machine was bleeding purple. Some oil got under the elliptical machine so I had to move that out've the way and clean the little bit that was under there. Simple Green, I want a sponsorship. Thank god I went back down there, because that would've been fun to explain. The funny part was the day my father took the cans outside, he was wondering why the garbage was so full. I proceeded to blame it on our poor cleaning lady for being wasteful. I know, I'm a bad person.

 

In any event, that is the "Royal Purple" story.

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Guest Luke Warmwater

Guest Luke Warmwater

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Back when I was in high school I would work at my uncle's business during the summer months. One afternoon I was ask to change the oil in one of the dump trucks. I went out to the yard and brought the truck into one of the bays and proceeded to get on with it. As I was about to wrap up I hopped in the truck to start it up to check for leaks. As it came to life I waited a couple seconds for the oil pressure to come up and leisurely opened the door to crawl down. To my horror I noticed a very rapidly expanding pool of oil growing out in all directions. I scrambled to locate the unfamiliar key switch location and shut the beast off. Mind you they don't measure the oil capacity of a 6-71 Detroit diesel in quarts. No, they measure it in gallons. By the time I got it shut down the pool of oil was so large that I had to take a few steps once I was down out of the machine to extricate myself from this mess. I had forgotten to place the o-ring in the oil filter housing and it had pumped several gallons of fresh Rotella out onto the shop floor. It is safe to say I spent several hours and several bags of floor dry cleaning up that mess. My uncle was not impressed lol.

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