I just performed the WORST car wash in the history of Adam's Polishes. My membership card is on the way back to Adam and I promise I won't tell anyone that I used his products.
I'll start at the beginning: My daughter is driving to Colorado and wanted me to wash her car before she left. She, thoughtfully, gave me nearly 45 minutes to perform the Herculean task.
Let me describe said vehicle: It's a red (I think) Explorer that looks as though a pack of muskrats has taken up residence. You know those races in the deserts of Peru that last like two weeks? This is the vehicle they use to pick up the people that can't finish the race. Every time you drive it under an overpass the homeless people boo. The paint has more calcium than a milk truck, The bug guts have water spots. You get the picture. (Sorry - I didn't get a picture. I only take pictures of pretty things. It's a rule I have.)
Anyway - I told her that there was NO WAY that wreck could be cleaned up in less than a week and she batted her eyes and asked me, "Can't you just WASH it, Dad?" I caved and said, "Of course, Sweetie. I'll have it ready in 45 minutes."
So I put some plastic wrap on the driver's seat, gripped the steering wheel with bar-b-que tongs, stuck my head out the window, held my breath and drove it to my house to wash it.
I should also mention that it was EXACTLY the WRONG weather and time of day to do this. No room in my garage (I'm not taking the Rocket out for this). Early afternoon sun, clear blue Texas skies, 20 mph wind, air drier than a Mormon convention. I don't know how you guys in Arizona do it...
No time for clay, no time for interior, certainly no time for polish. I hit the wheels with water and All Purpose Cleaner and brushed them off with the wheel brush. Rinsed the entire vehicle with water and then foamed it down with the Foam Gun. Prepared my one-bucket wash (gasp!).
Before I could get the roof washed the soap had dried all over the car. I foamed down again and washed the windshield and hood. Again - dry soap. More foam. More sections washed. More foam, more wash. Final water rinse. The paint is so porous and rough it took FOREVER to get all the soap off the car and it STILL looked like a streaky mess. The existing water spots just scooted over to make room for the new ones.
Broke out the H20 Guard & Gloss and started on the windshield and hood. I didn't bother with the roof of the car because my daughter is only 5'8" and she can't see it anyway. Started with the "wet method" but I had to revert to the "dry method" for most of the rest of the car. Went over the paint, the glass, the chrome trim and the black trim.
Had a few minutes left so I went ahead and used Glass Cleaner on all the windows but then it was time to take it back to her.
I was pretty embarrassed - I mean, it's covered with water spots and streaks, the front grill looks like Armageddon. The flat back trim is chalky and grey. I didn't do ANYTHING with the interior. It looks TERRIBLE.
She took one look, gave me a HUGE hug and said she couldn't believe how great it looks! It's like a new car! I just smiled and waved goodbye.
Question
Beemer
I just performed the WORST car wash in the history of Adam's Polishes. My membership card is on the way back to Adam and I promise I won't tell anyone that I used his products.
I'll start at the beginning: My daughter is driving to Colorado and wanted me to wash her car before she left. She, thoughtfully, gave me nearly 45 minutes to perform the Herculean task.
Let me describe said vehicle: It's a red (I think) Explorer that looks as though a pack of muskrats has taken up residence. You know those races in the deserts of Peru that last like two weeks? This is the vehicle they use to pick up the people that can't finish the race. Every time you drive it under an overpass the homeless people boo. The paint has more calcium than a milk truck, The bug guts have water spots. You get the picture. (Sorry - I didn't get a picture. I only take pictures of pretty things. It's a rule I have.)
Anyway - I told her that there was NO WAY that wreck could be cleaned up in less than a week and she batted her eyes and asked me, "Can't you just WASH it, Dad?" I caved and said, "Of course, Sweetie. I'll have it ready in 45 minutes."
So I put some plastic wrap on the driver's seat, gripped the steering wheel with bar-b-que tongs, stuck my head out the window, held my breath and drove it to my house to wash it.
I should also mention that it was EXACTLY the WRONG weather and time of day to do this. No room in my garage (I'm not taking the Rocket out for this). Early afternoon sun, clear blue Texas skies, 20 mph wind, air drier than a Mormon convention. I don't know how you guys in Arizona do it...
No time for clay, no time for interior, certainly no time for polish. I hit the wheels with water and All Purpose Cleaner and brushed them off with the wheel brush. Rinsed the entire vehicle with water and then foamed it down with the Foam Gun. Prepared my one-bucket wash (gasp!).
Before I could get the roof washed the soap had dried all over the car. I foamed down again and washed the windshield and hood. Again - dry soap. More foam. More sections washed. More foam, more wash. Final water rinse. The paint is so porous and rough it took FOREVER to get all the soap off the car and it STILL looked like a streaky mess. The existing water spots just scooted over to make room for the new ones.
Broke out the H20 Guard & Gloss and started on the windshield and hood. I didn't bother with the roof of the car because my daughter is only 5'8" and she can't see it anyway. Started with the "wet method" but I had to revert to the "dry method" for most of the rest of the car. Went over the paint, the glass, the chrome trim and the black trim.
Had a few minutes left so I went ahead and used Glass Cleaner on all the windows but then it was time to take it back to her.
I was pretty embarrassed - I mean, it's covered with water spots and streaks, the front grill looks like Armageddon. The flat back trim is chalky and grey. I didn't do ANYTHING with the interior. It looks TERRIBLE.
She took one look, gave me a HUGE hug and said she couldn't believe how great it looks! It's like a new car! I just smiled and waved goodbye.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
15 answers to this question
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now